The death of the leading man

The leading man is dead, in addition to, as some unidentified sources tell me, god. Part of the reason Hollywood is seeing falling revenues is undeniably due to this fact. Survey all the actors working in Hollywood today and the picture of leading men is pretty bleak. Tom Cruise? His acting consists of looking intensely across the camera, as though he were trying to hold our attention. Jack Nicholson? Parrots his 70's underage-banging cool. Jim Carrey? Doesn't have the tools to cross over to drama as he so wants, appears to try to hard. The young stars such as Heath and Jake? we won't even bother with that flavourless Josh Hartnett whom Hollywood is parading down the Pitt path to stardom with this new crime drama. Perhaps they will someday have the appeal of stars of the past, certainly the acting is not out of reach. Harrison Ford? Should really probably try his hand at, oh, say carpentry. Denzel? The novelty of an intelligent, educated black man belonged to Poitier in the 60's, the civil rights movement remember? He should stick to his ubermensch performances as in Training Day, the hard street savvy chessmaster. The only actor Pierrot will watch any more is Colin Farrell, who stole the screen from Tom Cruise in Minority Report and continues to bring us a nice taste of brusque tough coolness that hollywood hasn't seen in a handsome man since Clint Eastwood's prime. 'I'm a fiend for a good mojito' his character intones in Miami Vice prior to giving that uptight bitch the fucking the whole audience wanted to. He is our only hope. Besides, his drug intake should teach LA a good lesson - there is no place for a clean actor whose name isn't James Stewart. That is unless any Hollywood execs would like to hire Pierrot, who will bring his rampant sex appeal, uncanny screen presence and policeman-bashing pedigree to whomever will pay him American dollars, cash.
Thus Pierrot starts a new series wherein (whenever it suits him) Pierrot will discuss some of his favourite actors of the past, including James Coburn, James Dean, Toshiro Mifune, Klaus Kinski, and whomever else comes to mind.