l'Update

Mes amis I do apologize for being so tardy with my posts, you see I am housebound as all my suits are receiving sartorial attention, having been aged by the grasp of countless women, all demanding my love... well Pierrot bows to no-one not even love or her minions! You may have guessed I am still chasing her, and shrugging off all my other female suitors as water off a ducks back (that my suits should have been so lucky...) I saw her recently and it was not a dream - another absinthe monsieur - but she was with another! Pierrot looked down on him with scorn and spoke behind his back accordingly: he lacked my Gallic good looks; observe this so kissable jawline and rugged cheekbones, or the sculpted musculature, the air of defiant criminality; he did not have much of a chin, and seemed to gaze off dully most of the time, while Pierrot charmed the women out from under the measly grasp of l'enfant, with his humour and sexiness. Naturally Pierrot was civil - make it a double - but still so empty, at least, at last he knew he was in control... of nothing, oh those pale blue eyes... sous les ponts de Paris... un homme et une femme... but I could not take this fellow seriously, and knew it wouldn't last, he didn't leave with us, unsuited to the snowy night and the embrace of lovers, the way she looked at me smiling how she held me; a sort of patience I found there in what was once a long slow pain, now I grit my teeth and spit in the face of my interrogators these long weeks, laughing I don't know why - this is a cheap form of what Kierkegaard called faith, not all of me even believes it yet it is there as I am torn down and rebuilt over the months, the seasons...